So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
