It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
