i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the day after is always just damage control
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
where are my eyebrows?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize