apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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