Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
