I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize