Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
