Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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