We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
