Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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