I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As shirtless as possible
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
