i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
