we have officially lost it.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
