the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
