i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
