is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
