I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
