and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
