We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize