Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
