apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
