this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
