Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
