I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
