I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This baby is an asshole
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
