I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
