guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
