I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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