I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
