I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
