Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
