South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
