I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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