I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
