He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
