I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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