I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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