No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize