she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
