You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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