you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
