Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
