we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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