I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
