Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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