i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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