Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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