did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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