My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
