she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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