it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
