at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
