Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
