the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
