Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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