Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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