Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
