Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
