Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize