you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize