you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
