we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize