it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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