weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
